Jun 8, 2022
God is a relational being who created us in His image. It is why we are made for relationships. They are what give our life joy and meaning. Listen in to learn how.
I’m a big fan of Ken Burns and the documentaries he produces. His most recent one, which aired on PBS, was about the life of Benjamin Franklin. This founding father of the United States is remembered for a number of things. He helped write the Declaration of Independence and is credited with inventing the Franklin stove, bifocal eyeglasses, and the rocking chair.
When I saw the Ken Burns documentary, it reminded me of an episode I did several years ago, episode 32, that among other things talked about what Ben Franklin did to deal with the loneliness he was experiencing in his 20s. It fascinated me because loneliness is certainly a relationship concern here in the 21st century.
Franklin’s solution to his loneliness was part of a larger discussion in that episode about what our purpose is here on earth. What are we made for? I suggested and still believe strongly, that we are made for relationships.
Because this is such an important topic I thought it would be helpful to rewind parts of that earlier episode for today’s show. We’ll start by looking at the biblical basis for the importance of relationships.
If you’ve been around here for a while and ever wondered about our podcast name, You Were Made for This, I hope by you realize that Relationships are the THIS we are made for. We were all made for relationships.
This podcast is designed to equip people to make their relationships the best they can possibly be. The 31 episodes from season one were created to give people tools and ways of thinking they can use to enhance their relationships because on so many levels, it’s our relationships that give our life meaning and purpose.
So for today let’s consider relationships in terms of the THIS we were made for. We’ll use T.H.I.S as an acronym to describe four important qualities that will transform our relationships into the best they can be. I’ll be making some comments and observations about each of them.
T.H.I.S
What is important in this story is that Franklin initiated. He stepped out. What if all lonely people did this? What if we all initiated like this?
There are elements of our culture, however, that run counter to the notion of taking initiative in relationships. One of them is the online world of digital technology.
In Digital Minimalism, Newport quotes MIT professor Shirley Turkle who makes the distinction between connection (online interactions) and conversation (real-world encounters between human beings).
"Face-to-face conversation is the most human-and humanizing-thing we do. Fully present to one another, we learn to listen. It’s where we develop the capacity for empathy. It’s where we experience the joy of being heard, of being understood.”
Newport and Turtle argue that it is only analog interactions that move the needle in relationship development. “Digital interactions miss the nuances of face-to-face interactions or voice-to-voice communication Absent are the tone of voice, facial expressions. Conversation is what counts.” page 154
[re: Junto society of Benjamin Franklin’s] Franklin structured their meetings around 24 questions. Here are 3 of them:
13. Do you know of any deserving young beginner lately set up, whom it lies in the power of the Junto any way to encourage?
14. Is there any man whose friendship you want, and which the Junto, or any of them, can procure for you?
21. Have you any weighty affair in hand, in which you think the advice of the Junto may be of service?
Noticed how other-centered and service-oriented these questions are.
Franklin’s initiative in starting the Junto Club also comes out of his self-awareness of his need for relationships.
Imagine what our life would be like a year from now if we implemented the T.H.I.S principles (transcendence, honoring others, taking the initiative, and self-less service)? Imagine the fulfillment you would find in your transformed relationships.
Also, imagine if we did nothing. If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always gotten.
If we were to engage in our relationships in terms of these 4 qualities, (transcendence, honoring others, taking the initiative, and selfless service). The more we exhibit these qualities in our relationships, the more life-giving and fulfilling they will be.
You were made for T.H.I.S. - Relationships that: transcend our natural inclination to focus on self, that honor others as we strive to bring out the best in people, where we initiate by reaching out beyond ourselves, and where we selflessly serve other people.
I hope by now you appreciate the importance of relationships. And if that’s the case for you, shouldn’t we then make every effort to make them the best they can be?
I suggest starting with looking at the transcendent quality of just one of your relationships. How can you relate more in a way that bears the image of God well? What are some ways you can relate that give people a picture of part of the character of God?
You can do this. I know you can.
In closing, I hope you’re convinced by now that we are made for relationships. The T.H.I.S. model we talked about back several years ago in episode 32 is still true today. It’s a useful tool for helping us find more joy in our relationships as we reflect the character of God.
Well, that’s it for today. Please consider telling others about this podcast if you think it would be interesting and helpful to them. And don’t forget to create a little joy for the people you meet this week. Spread around some relational sunshine. And I’ll see you again next time.
139: Why Should I Listen to This Podcast?
Digital Minimalism - Choosing a Focused Life in a Noisy World, by Cal Newport
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